"Mom, when are you going to go on a date?"

It is so hard for me to fathom that it has already been over a month since Dominic moved out. I am really starting to settle into my new “normal”. At first it was hard to sleep. I was so used to hearing his rhythmic breathing next to me. I still only stay on my side. For some reason, I will not venture over to his side.

Last night, Gianna & Nick spent the night at Grandma’s house. Aryanna and I were supposed to attend Young Women’s in Excellence at church, but it was cancelled. So, the two of us had the night to ourselves. We went to dinner and stopped by Target. While we were at target she asked me, “Hey Mom, when are you going to go out on a date with someone?” I froze. I then explained to her that since I am legally married (I did file for a divorce though), if I went out with someone it would be adultery. I also explained to her that I am healing, that I still love Dominic and that my primary focus is her and her brothers & sister. It gave me such a glimpse into what her life was with her dad. You date someone, you break up & quickly move onto the next one. Dating is so far off of my list of priorities. Heck, I still have my wedding ring tan line! I am hardly ready to date! Furthermore, dating scares the crap out of me. My morals and lifestyle has changed since I was last single. I now have 2 failed marriages under my belt. I need to work on me. I need to fix myself. I need to let go of some of my control issues.

I know that even though I am doing okay right now, things will get harder. I know that Thanksgiving & Christmas will be emotional for me this year. I am not good at facing my emotions!! I pray that I continue to be the source of strength for my children though this difficult time in our lives. I hope that they always know how much I love them.

Also, thanks to Alabama Slacker Mama for posting about prayers for Ty. I appreciate it so very much!