Wow!!!

I am so shocked that it has been nearly a month since I have written in my blog. So much has been going on it seems like I just crash when I get home from work. I also have not yet found my charger for my camera, so I can't take any pictures of the kids, but I think that I am just going to buy a new charger.

Anyway, Christmas was nice. It was modest for sure, but Gianna and Nick had a great time. On the 26th, I went down to LA. I was so excited because I was supposed to see Aryanna and Bailey (I have not seen them since March). Once I got down there, I could not get ahold of them for the life of me. I called and called, I even just showed up at the house, but no one was home. It broke my heart to not be able to spend time with them. While I was in LA, I got a puppy. I have had such a hard time adjusting to Petunia not being here that I needed something that fills the void. I still pray that someone calls me and tells me that they have her. But, I do not see that happening. So, we now have Bella. I will post pictures soon. So, while down in LA, I stayed with Kerrie & David. I am so fortunate to have such great friends in my life. I have been friends with Kerrie for 12 years. I am floored at what wonderful kids she has raised. I remember them when they were newborns (except for Q, he was a toddler). Kerrie & David have beautiful, intelligent children. They have a strong testimony and I am honored to know all 3 of them. Kerrie makes me want to be a better person and mother. I love all of them as if they were my own family.
After I got home, I was finally able to get ahold of Aryanna & Bailey. Aryanna is really mad at me right now and not taking to me. I am so sad about this. I would lay down my life for my children. I have made decisions in life that they do not understand, but I have done it for them to have a better life. I made these decisions out of love, nothing else. Do I regret some of those decisions? Sure I do. But, whats done is done. I can only hope that as Aryanna & Bailey get older, they come to realize that I never wanted to hurt them. I have always loved them. I never stop thinking about them. So, anyway, Aryanna not speaking to me hurts a lot, but I understand that she is hurting right now also. I can only hope that she is able to see past her anger to realize that I tried REALLY hard to see her.

We are finally getting settled into the new house. It now feels like home. My mom is here right now. She has been such a help in getting laundry done, folded & put away, washing floors, etc. She is doing all the things that I just do not have time to do. I appreciate it so much. It is nice to have my mom around to "take care" of me. I will be sad to see her go home on Monday. =(